First Day Of School
by ArminArlelt
Summary: It's Toon Link's first day at Super Smash Brothers Academy! What will happen? Love triangles? Crazy teachers? Instanity? Of course! One-shot. Slight crackfic


**Hey!* This is my 4th story! Wow, I'm going along pretty well =) But anyway, I hope you like this story! Toon Link's POV. **

I am SO excited! This is my very first day at Super Smash Brothers Academy! Since I just turned 12, I am being put in the 7th level division, the lowest class. I think it's strange that they base your rank by age and not by skill level, but I'm not complaining. The highest level is 10th, but I still feel pretty cool to be accepted into the academy.

As I put on my usual brown boots, green hat, and tunic, I thought about what school would be like. I imagined a beautiful landscape filled with laughing children and games, clean lockers lined along freshly painted walls, and teachers that were considerate and caring. I hoped that this is exactly what it would be like, but I was SO wrong..

As I walked up to the large gate that was at the front of the school, I was disappointed at the sight. The gate was rusted and creaked open when I pushed it. I walked along the dirt-covered 'playground' and choked on some dust I stirred up. My impression of the school dropped down more when I came up the front door. It, too, was completely rusted shut and I had to struggle to push it open. I sighed as I continued along the hallways that were completely void of other kids. I remembered that I was told to go to the gymnasium and proceeded to head there.

"Assigned Classrooms." I read on the door of the gym.

"10th Grade - Mr. Martin - Coach Riley

Ganondorf

Bowser

King DeDeDe

9th Grade - Mr. Skinder - Mrs. Jones

R.O.B.

Donkey Kong

Snake

Wario

Mr. Game and Watch

Olimar

Meta Knight

8th Grade - Mrs. Hannah - Mrs. Ware

Link

Zelda

Marth

Ike

Lucario

Peach

Luigi

Mario

Samus

Pokemon Trainer (Red)

Wolf

Fox

Falco

Sonic

Pit

7th Grade - Mrs. Hazel - Mr. Crawford

Lucas

Ness

Kirby

Jigglypuff

Pikachu

Yoshi

Diddy Kong

The Ice Climbers (Nana and Popo)

Toon Link"

"Mrs. Hazel's class," I said to myself. Wonder where that is?

I strolled down the hall looking at each individual classroom sign, searching for my teacher's name when I bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sor-" was all I could say before I was picked up by my shirt collar and almost chocked. When I opened my eyes, I looked into the angry face of a tall, blue-haired man. I didn't know who he was, but he had a cape, and capes mean business.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU KID! THINK IT'S FUNNY HITTING PEOPLE? I COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY HURT! I COULD HAVE EVEN DIED! YOU COULD HAVE** KILLED **ME!" the man screamed at me. I didn't know what to do. I was so horror-stricken that I couldn't move.

"I *cough* I'm sor...ry," I barely said. I was about to pass out when I heard another voice.

"IKE!"

I looked to see another blue-haired man with a cape running down the hallway toward us with an angry look on his face. Ike dropped me and I gasped for breath.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? THAT POOR KID COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY HURT!" the man yelled at Ike.

"But Marth.... he bumped into me..," Ike said quietly.

"And you would kill him for that? Apologize right now!" Marth said.

"Fine.... look kid I'm sor-" Ike turned to speak to me but I had slumped away. It's not that I would have minded an apology, I just didn't want to make an enemy on my first day. I don't think either of them got a very good look at my face, so my identity was still anonymous to them. Good. Ike wouldn't be looking to get revenge on me for making his friend apologize to a kid.

With that behind me, I continued to look down the doors until I saw the sign that said 'Mrs. Hazel' in bright green letters. I opened the door and saw one boy in a striped yellow and red shirt, another in blue and yellow, one more in a blue parka, and finally a girl with a pink parka chatting. I walked up to them and it stopped their conversation.

"Hi!*" I said in my best peppy voice and my cutest happy smile. They looked at me for a moment until the boy in the blue and yellow finally spoke up.

"Hey! My name is Ness, *points to Lucas* this is Lucas, *points to Popo* this is Popo, *points to Nana* and this is Nana," Ness said, "what's yours?"

"Toon Link," I responded, "but you can call me Toony if you wan-"

"OH MY GOSH!" Popo yelled, stopping me mid-sentence, "LOOK AT THOSE **EARS**! I BET YOU HEARD THE SUN COME UP THIS MORNING!"

"Popo shut-up!" Nana said. I tried to ignore his first comment, but when he continued, it really started to make me mad.

"But sis! Those ears ar- *gasps* LOOK AT YOUR CLOTHES! YOU'RE WEARING A **DRESS**!" Popo started laughing so hard that he fell to the floor on his back.

"Popo, really, shut-up," Ness said. They all tried to make him stop laughing, but he wouldn't. I couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU'RE WEARIN' A FRIGGIN' **PARKA**! IT'S LIKE 400 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME! AND I BET THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE WEARIN' IT IS 'CAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE CRAP!" I yelled a little louder than I probably should have.

They looked at me dumb-founded for a moment. Popo had stopped laughing completely. Then he got up, walked over to me, and put his arm around my shoulder.

"I like this kid!" Popo smiled. The others started to laugh and then they, too, crowded around me and started making idle conversation.

"What's your favorite music?" Ness asked me, "I like your hat! Can I try it on?" Lucas asked, "Your hair is so fluffy and soft! What shampoo do you use?" Nana asked, "Do you like eggplants?" Popo asked. I couldn't answer all the questions at once..... or could I?

"STOP!" I yelled. They all stopped and looked at me.

"Okay..... Pop or Country, sure, Pantene, and what the heck?" I said in one breath.

"Cool! Me too!" Ness said.

"Thanks!" Lucas said as he took my hat and placed it on his blond hair.

"Wow...... soo...... soft," Nana said feeling my hair.

"DO YOU LIKE EGGPLANTS?" Popo asked again but louder.

"NO!" I said just as loudly.

"Meanie," Popo said back.

"Okaaay claaass!*" came a sing-song voice from the doorway. By the time we looked, we noticed that a green dinosaur, two pink puffs, a monkey, and a yellow mouse had joined the mix.

"Hello star-shine, the Earth says Hello!" she said. We gave her a 'what the heck' look. Seeing this, she cleared her throat and continued to her desk.

"Man, what a sprig," Popo said. Ness, Lucas, Nana, and I looked at him with a bewildered expression.

"A...... sprig?" I asked.

"Yeaaaaaaa?" Popo said. I was about to ask where the heck he got that from, but the teacher began to speak again.

"Okay, class, let's begin by getting to know each other a little more!*" she said cheerily.

As we went around the room, I learned that the dinosaur was Yoshi, the mouse was Pikachu, the pink ones were Kirby and Jigglypuff, and the monkey was Diddy Kong. The sad thing was, none of them could talk. Yoshi, as well as Pikachu and Jigglypuff, only said their names, Kirby spoke in "Poyo"s, and Diddy only gave little monkey noises once in a while.

"This should be one fun year," Popo commented.

"Okay everyone!* Here's some arugula!" she said as she passed out the green vegetable.

She **was** a sprig.

As we looked at the strange food, I heard a yelp from the other side of the room. My friends and I looked to see Yoshi being shocked by Pikachu because he had stolen the mouse's food. Yoshi screamed which startled Kirby. Kirby opened his mouth wide and begin to inhale. Jigglypuff started to be sucked in, but Diddy Kong grabbed her plushy pink feet. In the mess, Kirby sucked in some of Pikachu's voltage and then began to cough up sparks. The lightning streaks sprawled across the room, and I covered Nana, Popo, Ness, and Lucas with my shield. (This morning, I had actually considered leaving it at home, but now, I was glad I had brought it.)

Nana cuddled up to me a little bit too close, which made me really uncomfortable, but I continued to block the lightning. How much could that puff hold?

I looked over Nana's shoulder to see if the teacher might be of some help, but of course, she wasn't. She was hiding under her desk watching the fiasco while eating a bag of Pop Rocks. Finally, the sparks slowed down, and I peeked out from my shield to see poor Kirby laying there trying to be revived by Pikachu, Diddy Kong, Jigglypuff, and Yoshi.

The teacher stood up and dusted off her skirt.

"Well, now that that's over, who wants some cabbage!" she smiled as she held up said vegetable.

"CABBAGES!" Popo screamed, "RUN!"

As he tried to make his escape, he hit a wall and fell to the floor. Everyone looked at him stupidly. I was about to go and try to help him up, but Nana was still holding onto me and I couldn't move. Thinking, I finally had an idea.

"Hey, Diddy Kong, I think Popo needs CPR," I smiled. The monkey "eep"ed and went over to Popo. He started to lean down and.......

"I'M UP! I'M UP!" Popo screamed sitting up-right. Suddenly, the teacher started to burst out laughing. We turned from Popo to the teacher that was hunched over laughing.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" Popo yelled/asked her.

"*Giggle*..... potatoes!" she said happily as she pulled one from her desk.

"POTATOES? THIS IS CRAZY! I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" Yoshi screamed as he ran out of the room. Everyone was shocked for one reason or the other. Either because of Yoshi's outburst, or because he could actually talk.

"Anyway, time for your next class!*" the teacher chirped.

"Who's class do you have next, Toony?" Ness asked.

"Hmm...... it says here that I have Mr. Crawford next," I said back.

"Me too!" Nana, Popo, and Lucas said in unison.

"More time to spend with Toony...," I heard Nana say quietly. I felt like I was being stalked....... *shiver*.

As we were going to our next class which was across the street, we saw a bus full of the three 10th graders.

"HEY UGLIES! YOU SMELL! *Giggles*" Popo yelled. (That's tellin 'em)

"POPO WOULD YOU SHUT-UP?" Ness yelled quietly. (Can you yell quietly? Oh well =) )

Suddenly, Ganondorf came off of the bus with a scowl on his face. He came right up to us and spoke in a dark tone.

"HEY," he said. We were all about to wet our pants.

"Why were you yelling at me?" he said in a voice that sounded like a 3 year-old girl. We stared at him wide-eyed (especially me because of my.. *ahem* ... overly-sized eyes), and then backed away slowly.

'What's wrong with this school?' I asked myself. When I looked up, I saw a door that said 'Mr. Crawford' in pink letters. Pink? How manly.

"Come on, Toony!" Ness said. I smiled at him and then walked in. No one was there yet, so we had the whole classroom to ourselves.

"I call the marker board!" Lucas said happily.

"I want the markers!" Popo said as he and Lucas wrestled for them.

"I need to go to the bathroom real quick. Back in a sec," Ness said walking out of the room.

I calmly sat down in a nearby desk to watch the wrestling match when I felt a hand on my arm. I flinched and then looked quickly to see Nana standing there with a large smile on her face.

"Hey...," she said still holding my arm. I noticed a pink tint coming onto her face.

"Have you ever heard of...... love at first sight?" she asked. I flinched at the word 'love'. My brother told me to stay away from it, because it only leads to bad things. I asked what kind of 'bad things' he meant, but he said he would tell me when I was older.

"I.... uh...," was all I could say before she put a gloved finger to my mouth.

"Shhhh..... you talk too much," she said getting closer. I was trying my best to get away, but between her and the desk, I was trapped.

"LOOK AT THE LOVE-BIRDS!" Popo yelled. Lucas turned to see Nana nearly sitting on top of me and getting closer by the minute. I was still struggling to get away.

"N-NANA! P-PLEASE STOP!" I said while trying desperately to get away. At the same time, I felt kind of lame that I couldn't get away from a girl in a pink parka. What has this girl been eating?

"Why resist, Toony? You know this is meant to be," she whispered to me.

"I JUST MET YOU!" I yelled. This chick was psycho!

"Come on Nana, kiss him already!" Lucas called from the crowd.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!" I yelled back. Where was Ness?

*From the bathroom*

"What's that white stuff? MAYONNAISE!" Ness screamed at some toilet paper. There was about 30 rolls laying shredded around him.

*Back in the classroom*

Nana was inches from my face.

"We were meant to be together," Nana said.

"WE WERE NOT! IT'S JUST PART OF YOUR DISEASED IMAGINATION!" I yelled.

"Hey Lucas! Pass the corn-nuts!" I heard Popo say. What is with these people and their strange choice of food?

I couldn't take it anymore. My arms fell limp and Nana kissed me right on the lips. I heard Lucas and Popo whistle in the background. Fortunately, it only lasted about 2 seconds before she came back up. She smiled at me and then sighed in happiness. Her sweet smile turned to a devious one as she started to lean back down.

"NOO!" I screamed. Suddenly, I heard a voice from the doorway.

"TOONY!" Ness yelled, "HOW COULD YOU?" We all turned to see Ness standing teary-eyed in the thresh-hold.

"Ness? Help me! I can't get away!" I yelled in desperation.

"Oh don't pretend you didn't love it," Nana said to me.

"I'M NEVER GOING TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!" Ness yelled before he ran back to the bathroom. We all stared for a moment before Nana shrugged and then went back in to kiss me. I wasn't going to keep letting her control me. With new-found strength, I pushed her off of me enough to sit up and squeeze out.

"TOONY! COME BACK!" Nana yelled. I was almost into the bathroom. A little bit more...

I jumped into the boy's bathroom and fell to the floor. As I expected, Nana stopped at the doorway, gave me an angry look, then began to walk away. I caught my breath and then heard crying coming from one of the stalls. I walked over to where the crying was coming from and knocked on the door.

"GO AWAY!" Ness hollered.

"Ness, please, it wasn't my fault! Nana trapped me and I-"

"COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF? YOU HAD TO KISS HER BACK?" Ness yelled opening the door. His face was red and covered with tears. He liked her more than I first thought.

"Oh come on, Ness," I said comfortingly, "I just met the girl, and I DEFINITELY don't like her that way!"

"But...... she likes YOU that way!" Ness said, "how can I compete with you!"

"Ness, you don't have to compete with me, just be yourself!" I said putting my hand on his shoulder, "besides, I'm not any better than you ar-"

"YES YOU ARE! You can handle a sword, bombs, bows and arrows, horses, boats, big ugly evil people, **and **girls! Not to mention your hair! According to Nana, 'it's so fluffy and soft'! Mine is covered with this hat all the time!" Ness said.

"Well, take it off!" I said.

"But I..... I can't," Ness said looking at his feet.

"You....... can't?" I asked shocked.

"No. I've tried, but it just won't come off," Ness said sadly.

"Okay," was all I could say. How can you **not** take off your own hat? I had some weird friends....

"Uh... well... hair doesn't matter anyway! Just go tell her how you feel!" I said encouragingly. He looked at me with hopeless eyes.

"Toony, that may be easy for you, but I'm not good at telling people how I feel," Ness said.

"Come on! I'll right there for you!" I said with a happy smile. I dragged him by the arm back to the classroom.

"...... Thanks, Toony," I heard him whisper.

As we walked into the classroom, Nana was sitting at a desk with her head propped on one of her hands. Lucas and Popo were still fighting with the markers. Where was the teacher?

Nana's eyes began to sparkle as she saw me come in the doorway.

"Toony!" she called, "I knew you would come back to me!" She sprang up and began to run up to me. I looked at Ness's face and saw the sadness plastered across it. I turned back to Nana and put up a hand. She skidded to a stop and gave me a questioned look.

"Nana, Ness has something he wants to tell you," I said firmly. Nana's questioned look turned to Ness who blushed like crazy.

"Nana....," Ness started to say, "I..... uh......... I think your brother needs help! I mean, sprigs? Where did that come from? Heh heh," he said with a nervous smile.

"Uh..... okay?" Nana said before she turned and smiled at me.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! NANA, NESS LIKES YOU!" I screamed. I was so tired of this love triangle.

Ness blushed like crazy. What would Nana say?

"Ness..... that's so sweet," Nana said. Hope washed over me and Ness.

"But....," she said. Not the 'but'. The hope vanished.

"You know I like Toony," Nana said.

Ness and I both dropped our heads in defeat. Rage welled up inside me. This was hurting Ness, and it wasn't too good for me either. If I ever got forcefully kissed again...... ugh..... I don't even want to think about it.

"But.... I told you how I felt.... I thought you were supposed to like me back," Ness said.

"It doesn't always work that way, Ness. You obviously don't understand a girl's feelings," Nana said matter-of-factly.

More rage. It exploded all at once.

"Nana, I don't know how to say this but........ I DON'T LIKE YOU!" I yelled to her face. I felt bad immediately when I saw her start to tear up.

"I mean, I don't like you _that way._ I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just don't want you to go after me forever and never meet anyone else," I said putting a hand on her shoulder. She sniffed, smiled up at me, then grabbed my hand in hers. I was going to shake her off, but I didn't want to risk her crying anymore.

"See, Ness? **That's **how you treat a girl," Nana said looking lovingly into my eyes. I only looked more nervous.

Ness started to tear-up again, but then looked at me with rage-filled eyes.

"This is all your fault, Toony! If it weren't for you coming here, she might have liked me!" Ness yelled pointing a finger at me. Letting go of Nana's hand, I turned to him.

"Don't pin this whole thing on me! If it weren't for 'me coming here', you'd still have all your feelings bottled up inside and you'd never have even known how she felt! You would have wasted your whole time here chasing something you would never get!" I said back to him.

"Like liking your elbow!" Popo said from the background. We then heard Lucas give him a good slap.

His tear-filled eyes finally over-flowed, and hot tears streamed down his face. He dropped down to a sitting position in the floor and cried. I immediately realized my mistake and knelt down to him.

"Ness, what I mean is, if you wouldn't have told her, you would have lived in sadness not knowing whether she returned your feelings," I said in my most comforting voice.

"...*Sniff*.... I'm sorry Toony.... I blamed this whole thing on you when it was really my fault.... thanks for being a good friend," Ness said smiling.

"No problem," I said smiling back. Ness got up from the floor and dusted off. I tried to, but was tackled back down by Nana.

"Awwwww! That was SO sweet!" Nana squealed. I struggled to get up and she was draped onto me like....... drapes. I really wish I would have just let her cry...

"OKAY FREAKIN' CLASS!" came a gruff voice from the doorway. Nana was so startled, she fell to the floor and I ran as fast as I could to a desk.

"I AM YOUR FREAKIN' TEACHER! SO IF YOU DON'T WANT FREAKIN' DETENTION, I SUGGEST YOU DON'T FREAKIN' ACT UP......... FREAKIN'!" yelled the teacher.

"Look who decided to show up..," Lucas whispered to me.

"HEY! DID YOU JUST FREAKIN' SAY SOMETHING? THAT'S FREAKIN' DETENTION!" the teacher said. He proceeded to stomp over to his desk and hand Lucas a blue detention slip. Popo giggled from the seat behind me.

"DID YOU JUST FREAKIN' GIGGLE AT HIM? YOU GET A FREAKIN' DETENTION SLIP!" the teacher yelled at him, handing him the same blue paper.

"Hey! You can't do that! He just laughed!" Nana said from beside Popo.

"YOU GET FREAKIN' DETENTION, TOO, LITTLE MISS FREAKIN' PRISS!" Mr. Crawford yelled. Nana was almost in tears.

"You just made her cry! Nana, are you okay?" Ness asked worried.

"YOU FREAKIN' LITTLE KIDS DON'T GET IT DO YOU? DO. NOT. FREAKIN'. TALK!" Mr. Crawford screamed at the top of his lungs before he handed Nana and Ness both a detention hall slip.

Wondering what I was doing in all this? Holding my bleeding ears from further damage. Mr. Crawford's screams were hurting my sensitive ears. I clenched my fist and stood up on my desk.

"HEY MR. FREAKING CRAWFORD! IF YOU'LL JUST FREAKIN' SHUT UP AND LEAVE THE FREAKIN' CLASSROOM, I MIGHT NOT FREAKIN' KILL YOU!" I screamed with all my heart at him. I took out my sword and pointed it right at his nose. There was NO WAY that I would** actually** kill him, but I was about to go deaf from all his yelling. Plus, he made all my friends sad and even made Nana cry. I couldn't stand by quietly and watch that.

"YOU'RE SUCH A MEANIE!" he said in a gay voice then ran out of the room crying. I could tell by the pink letters outside his door that he might have been a little.....off.

I closed my eyes, sighed, and then proceeded to put my sword away. I opened my eyes and looked at the horror-stricken faces of my friends.

"Wow, Toony. That was.......," Popo started to say. I expected 'unnecessary' or 'stupid', but he said, "AWESOME!"

Everyone crowded around me and started to say how cool what I did was. (Even though I don't think that chasing off a strange [possibly even gay] man that won't shut-up seems all that impressive.)

I blushed at all the attention before we heard the bell ring. We looked at each other and then we walked out the door together.

As we walked out in the car-rider line, we talked about the day's events. The very strange or ''sprigish'' Mrs. Hazel, as Popo put it, the crazy green dinosaur that would never be coming back, and ''freakin'' Mr. Crawford that had been fired for child abuse. One day in the school year and we've already had a teacher fired. So far so good.

We decided that we would give our phone numbers to each other so we could stay in touch over the weekends, and would hang out and train every day.

As for Ness, Nana, and I's love triangle, Ness continued to admire from afar, Nana still stalked me, and I remained in the middle. The best friend and the love interest. What a life, huh?

Over all, though, I'd have to say that it was a good way to start out the school year. Nothing exploded! I call that a success.

1 day down, 179 days to go.

~THE END~

**I hope everyone liked this! This is my first attempt at a funny/friendship kind of thing. As strange as this may seem, all of the things in this story really happened to me at school! (Except for the Mr. Crawford thing) Anyway, thanks for reading!***


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